It’s been a long time, I know but hopefully, soon I will be able to tell you why I had to disappear for this long… Anyways, let’s get to it… Ramadhan checklist, Yay or Nay?, Definitely a Nay for me and Here is why…
How many times have you had a checklist for Ramadhan yet you feel so disappointed in yourself/productivity at the end Ramadhan?
I mean months or weeks before Ramadhan, You have these Maa sha Allah Impeccable plans and checklists, I am going to do this and that this Ramadhan, yet after Ramadhan you still feel like a FAILURE.
Before now when people talked about their plans and checklist, I use to feel terrible, Like BK, how can you not have a checklist/to-do-list?, this is such a shameful BK, so you don’t want to feel as connected to Allah swt ehn?, shame and guilt will just not let me be myself in peace and then yea we are back to the: I will read the entire Qur’an twice in Ramadhan, go for Tafsir every day, Pray Taraweeh everyday e.t.c and then Ramadhan comes BK, ginger ooo! ginger! girl is so hyped!
Day 1; check all boxes, We good.
Day 2: It’s gonna be a very productive Ramadhan
Day 3: Feeling good, Makes plenty Iftar, Tired, Not all boxes are checked but we good.
Day 4: Just lazying around for no reason… What did I even do today? BK, not this Ramadhan. Tomorrow has got to be better..
Well, tomorrow comes and guess who starts feeling sad/guilty and then settle for a level of productivity, then period visits, Then it’s time for Lailatul Qadr and then like film trick, Ramadhan yaff go!
Then I find myself repeating again: Not my best Ramadhan tho but Alhamdulillah!
But wait! what exactly is Ramadhan about? Connecting with Allah swt or connecting with a list? How about I reconnect with Allah and ditch the list..?
A lot of us get so gassed about Ramadhan because it is Ramadhan, Muslim all around the world are fasting, we know it’s the month the Holy Qur’an was revealed and we are excited about the togetherness the month comes with… Then what?
How many of us actually know and understand the purpose of Ramadhan for Us?
Forget all that you have been told! what exactly is the purpose of Ramadhan for you? Is to connect with Allah, Is to be in the kitchen all through and be cooking all sort of orishirishi or Is to do so much and be overwhelmed? This year, Define the purpose of Ramadhan for YOU….
How many times have you had a checklist and how many times have you felt like a failure, is it equatable? There is no point feeling like a failure, it is very important to sit down and ask yourself the lessons you can learn from what you think was a Failed Ramadhan.
Forget what people have told you about Ramadhan/ what people are telling about Ramadhan and decide on what you want your Ramadhan will be like and Because you already have a certain mentality about Ramadhan already, This might take a while to Figure or better still some level of deep thoughts to figure out what YOU want your Ramadhan to be like but it’s okay, take your time, Don’t just be a lazy somebody.
As people of Faith, we are to connect with Allah swt every time, every day In different ways.. Islam is that Amazing, There are tons of ways to connect with Allah but we fail to see the beauty in these ways. I remember a particular Ramadhan, I was so busy in Medical school and didn’t have much control over my time but guess who still had a checklist, Me! and honestly I felt outside that checklist there was nothing else to do to connect the way I wanted to connect with Allah, but I lied! there were uncountable unique ways to connect with Allah but I was just so adamant on sticking to what is clearly not working for me, I mean, everyone has a list, why shouldn’t I have one… I take pride in being very realistic and had a PEP talk with myself…”It’s okay to be different, It’s okay to feel different, you aren’t the one to do things because a lot of people are doing it, It might be working for them, But it is not working for you, they might be feeling very connected to Allah but you aren’t feeling as connected, You don’t even understand the checklist, why stick to it?”
And ladies and gentlemen, That was the last time I ever had a list and that was the beginning of really beautiful, peaceful and calming Ramadhans….
It is very important to know that, cooking for your Family, Understanding the Qur’an, showing love to your spouse or kids, walking down the street praising Allah for the beauty of his creations, sharing beneficial text e.t.c are also ways of pleasing Allah swt but you have know it to feel it… People wonder why as soon Ramadhan is gone, people are back to their usual daily routines and the level of sins and istigfar are back, ever wondered why?
Ramadhan isn’t meant for you to be overwhelmed, exhausted or sad, Allah swt is Absolutely merciful, we are the ones putting way too much pressure on ourselves… What does doing the little things that you overlook brings to you? How are you able to link them to pleasing Allah and feeling connected to Allah?… Imagine just hugging someone who needs a hug, not just because they need the hug but because you know that Allah loves kindness and giving them a hug means pleasing Allah swt… That’s just an example..
It’s days to Ramadhan and I am sure social media is already buzzing with what to do and what not to do in Ramadhan… You can either let others define your Ramadhan or you do it yourself…
don’t get me wrong, if checklist works really well for you, hold on strongly to it, for me it doesn’t and that way I am able to consciously find various ways in a day to connect with Allah SWT which brings loads of peace and calmness..
I believe I won’t be here till after Ramadhan In shaa Allah, so I urge you all to worry less about what others think or what others are doing and Just enjoy and have a peaceful Ramadhan…
Assalamu Alaikum, Warahmatullah Wa barkahtuhu….