We all have our struggles, sometimes we share them with people and sometimes we keep them to ourselves. I personally respect and appreciate people who get to share theirs, Asides the fact that it’s therapy on it own, I love the fact that people get to read their stories and pick a thing or two.
Ruqayyah of DREAM WEARS stopped by to share one of her episodes and I just couldn’t wait to share it with you guys. Enjoy
“Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullah Wa barakahtuhu (May peace and blessings be upon you). I will start with Alhamdulillah for every reason. The past few months hasn’t been easy but it took only the will of Allah
Months before Eid, I told myself I wasn’t going to be making anything for Eid celebration. It’s okay to say I was living like a non-living. A lot had hit me “like everyone else” and it felt like it was all about me..Just imagine yourself surrounded by people you don’t know and all you keep hearing are unrecognized voices (That made sense right?)
80% of my thoughts appeared negative and the worst part was that ” I hated my existence” but guess what? ALHAMDULILAH, I never thought of suicide….
My Family were there and they definitely noticed and played their own roles in ensuring things got better but you know, it takes only the mercy of Allah for one to hear His words despite having ears…
FAST FORWARD TO ABOUT 3 MONTHS LATER.
I got everyone worried and thinking… What could be wrong with Ruqayyah? could it be BUSINESS? RELATIONSHIP? or is it FAMILY? but all I could give as a response was a smile whenever I could. Eventually, I found myself in a depressive state which only made things worse but ALHAMDULILAH, things got better with time… ” All thanks to family and true friends.
The Intresting thing is, all this while I didn’t stay off social media because I had to keep up with the business part of my life, However, I was very fortunate and blessed with inspirational / motivational quotes by some amazing pages on Instagram, I mean I was aware of what I was going through Internally and I knew it wasn’t my place, it wasn’t where I was suppose to be, so following these pages wasn’t even an issue, Helooo! I followed countless number of pages just to derive the type of feed I needed and slowly things got better….
It wasn’t that I was not facing challenges any longer, Those challenges were there but were been faced in different ways, You might want to ask how?
▪ I acknowledged the presence of what I was going through by telling myself “You can’t be a believer without undergoing trial”
▪I wrote everything I thought was challenging down on a paper and in less than 3 lines felt like it was a textbook.
▪I tried to ease off anxiety by getting myself to relax and while in my calm state I laughed because I realized I had solutions to almost all if not all that I am going through….
Wait? How did I get here? Why was I so blind to all of these?
Oh! and yes! despite the fact that I told my loyal clients I wasn’t going to give them anything new for the Eid, They didn’t believe a word of mine, all they filled my ears with was ” Ruqayyah, I know you will change your mind and no matter what you make, I will patronise you” I heard these countless number of times.. Yes! I have amazing clients Alhamdulillah
As soon as I was in the right frame of mind (the solutions I talked about earlier) Ruqayyah decided something was going to be up for Eid… I think the productive ruqayyah is back, the less anxious ruqayyah is back, the goal setter and getter is back, I was just not happy that there was going to be an Eid collection but I was also happy because after a long time of worrying, after a long time of not connecting with myself, I am finally able to do something with my life and I am finally able to smile genuinely. Out of excitement, I wanted to make an announcement but I thought keeping it cool was way better. So, while the production was on, I made few hints on my page, the feedback from the making inspired me to play with designs. Subhanallah, I couldn’t explain where the vibe was coming from, I started selling even before I finished the collection..
Being in a state where everything seem hindered is not funny at all even for the fact that suicide was out of it, I was just not ruqayyah, I was far from being ruqayyah but what I didn’t do was remain where I did not belong, It was hard, if not the hardest thing ever but I took steps on a daily basis and guess what, I am still taking steps to better the present Ruqayyah. All I am trying to say is that: Asides the physical work most people think a good job requires, A good job also requires a good mental state to look it best…
Did I mention It took me just 2 weeks to purchase fabrics, design, sew and sell? Never underestimate the power in you…
I am not going to add anything, I hope your spirit is as lifted as mine… please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section and If you would like to share your story/stories here on Barakah’s Thoughts please feel free to send a mail @email@example.com or send @ direct message on a Instagram @bkaystots.