A couple of years back, my life flipped and since I still haven’t mustered enough courage to share my story as a whole I have decided to share it with you guys in bits.
So in my early days of University, Yes! I like to say early because I am a Stj Dr at the moment, meaning I am almost done with medical school. A friend of mine who wears pink on a daily basis used to say my life was black and white and I often called her Binky Binky, it’s actually pinky pinky but because she is Arab she pronounces P as B and it was so easy to tease her back whenever she said my life was black and white. Her reason being that I was always wearing black. I so didn’t like colors ehn! Pink and yellow were the worst of them all and people will often wonder why I have so many black outfits.(My mum is top on the list).
My wardrobe was full of black Abayas which was my signature outfit and my mum would constantly beg me to add a bit of color to my wardrobe and I would say No! A few years later, depression became apparent, so apparent that I had to seek help. I hated that version of me and I wanted my life back so bad that I never objected to seeing a therapist.
During one of my sessions the lady suggest I designed a house with colors, I laughed so hard, I clearly remember I apologizing for my laughter, I just didn’t understand why I would wake up to go and see somebody, only for the person to tell me to start playing with colors.
“funny right?” but we would do it and that’s all we are going to be doing for today,” she said
I was like oh wow! This woman is actually serious.
The moment I saw those colors, I remembered my flare for Interior designs. I have always designed spaces in my head but sketching had always been the problem.
She passed a plane sheet to me and ask that I sketched a house anyhow, I took the paper and sketched a house, now it was time to paint. She handed me 3 different colors: Yellow, Orange and green..I told her I didn’t like them.
She said “okay pick the ones you like” directing me to the color box, trust your sister, I went for black, grey and off-white….After painting this ‘well-sketched house’, She asked me if I wanted to add few bright colors I said “No! The light and bulbs will brighten the place more.”
And then she asked, “and when there is no light? I went silent!
Now let’s do it this way, I am your client, you are the designer, now design a house based on what you think about my personality……
Somehow I got Inspired by her office and her looks and then I designed using colors around, which she loved.
Now I was to pick my favorite design, I opted for the Initial one but this time I wanted to toss in brighter colors here and there. Which she was excited about.
Colors are not always flashy when you balance them out the right way….”
We paired colors together and all of a sudden all I wanted at that moment was to stalk interior designs pictures online…Oh wow! I now have something to do. It was like some neurons in my brain got stimulated.
“This week is all about colors and you are going to add colors to your environment and you are also going to add colors to your outfit,” she said.
Colors to my environment Yes! But colors to my outfit No! But then after a couple of quotes here and there, she convinced me! I had so much fun adding colors to my environment but to my outfits, it was such a struggle…
For the first time in a long time, I wore a floral dress to school which didn’t go Unnoticed! Every single person asked what happened! The expression on their faces got me laughing like guys, It can’t even be that bad. I got the attention I never wanted but it was expected but I was surprised at the way I handled it. Hmmmm.
On my way back home, I was like “Maybe this Aunty (my therapist) will say I should paint again, let me just be ready for her”
I felt a need to draw Inspiration from things around for this first (by myself) in a long time and guess where I started from?
My floral dress…..
Does it make sense now?
- The exercise I took was to help me connect with my environment, she didn’t vocalize it but she helped stimulate my thoughts as regards that.
- Prior to that moment, I just wasn’t interested in anything, I had totally forgotten things that I enjoyed doing but the exercise brought back my love for Interior designs (I still don’t know how to design but I am always watching shows that have to do with Interior designs), Which made felt like doing something.
- She made me sketch a house, on a normal day, I will hand that paper back to her but then I did and I even painted it! Which looked okay at the end of the day, Interesting! . “Hmm Barakah! Learn to always try and then get better at it! “
- I never liked bright colors because I thought they were too flashy and I hate to be noticed but these were just things I Imagined, How about making it practical which was again what we did, with a color box, we paired several colors together and oh! it’s not as bad as I imagined, Bright colors aren’t always flashy If you pair them the right way.
- She made me add colors to my environment- from wall arts to mini frames, colorful cards, stationaries, throw pillows e.t.c shopping for them felt good. It was like an enjoyable assignment. My limbic system thanked me.
- And believe me adding colors to my outfit boosted my confidence level. It was like yes! I am wearing a pink veil, so what! (laughs).
Who knew I was going to learn so much from just painting with different colors.
Sometimes all you need to do is to take a deep breath and just connect better with your environment and you will be shocked as to how little things around can bring you so much happiness…
If you feel depressed, please ask for help or talk to someone about it, Trust me, coaches/therapists are like that one best friend you never had and all of a sudden just showed up in your life.
And that’s it, guys.
Wishing you guys a happy life, Please feel free to drop your thoughts in the comment section.
See you in my next post.