We can go on and on talking about love, intimacy and so on but one important part of marriage that is rarely spoken about is that of finances….
Surprising how almost no one ever tells you about this before getting married and a whole lot of young couples don’t discuss this or better still don’t go as deep as they should before getting married…
I think in almost all religions if not all, it is the responsibility of the man to take care of the woman… Well, that’s true but is that it?
How much is he giving me every month?
Is he able to give me money for everything and anything…
What happens when he goes into a demanding business?
What happens if he looses his job?
If he is into business, What happens when it’s that time of the year when business is slow…?
And so on….
Here is the thing, one particular factor that slowly severe relationships is STRESS, and one of the things that causes stress in the first few years of marriage is talking finances… whether you like it or not you both will constantly have to sit down and discuss finances and to be honest that’s usually when reality hits you… Helloooo! You are now married.
No matter how calm and patient you are, talking finances can be draining as talking about money is the primary source of conflict in most relationships and that is when you will know the importance of having an understanding partner… (May Allah make us one and may He bless us with one)…
You can’t know everything before marriage that’s just the truth but you can at least have some basic facts, you can at least push the right buttons when you are courting Just to have something to hold on to and something that will enable you plan well..
Women automatically assume that the fact that the man is to take care of the family means they wouldn’t have to support the man/family… That’s not true, A very perfect example is our mother Khadijah R.A (Please read about her)…
However, it is important for both of you to be on the same page, discuss salaries, source(s) of income, projects you are likely to embark on, expectations on lifestyle, interests in having a joint account (or not), Money personality (spender or saver), budgeting e.t.c these will only help put your marriage on a solid financial foundation….
Discussing money is never thrilling, like a friend of mine often say “ No matter how much the atmosphere feels romantic, money issue go kill am” and it’s the truth…But you still must talk am, it can be awkward but not to worry, you will find a way around it…
So my dear sisters, if you haven’t discussed finances, it ain’t time to get hitched.
I wish us all well…
Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakahtuh.